The Devil Tempts Me

Today began like most any other Thursday morning. My alarm goes off at 7am and I bleary-eyed make my way to the shower, trying to wake up enough to put the shampoo in my hair and the body wash on my body. After the shower, I finish some homework and head off to class.

Class proceeds as usual, I on my laptop half paying attention, until we’re dismissed. I know I know, I should focus. I’m just so tired and the teacher rambles off into all these random topics which don’t relate to the topics at hand.

After class I run home to grab a check to deposit, and my list of errands to run. I hit the credit union and then I hit Men’s Wearhouse where I snagged the shirt I’ve been looking for. From there I head across the street to GNC, I’m almost out of my Whey protein powder so I go in there to snag another container. While I’m looking around the sales clerk/manager comes over, his name is Marlon and he’s a decently built guy, good shape, muscular frame, and he sells me.

I mean, this was a great pitch, hook, reel and sale. I just went for it like a moth to the flame. He sold me on the diet supplement, Hydroxycut. I knew about it, but hadn’t done any reading in depth about it and so I bought a month’s worth to “tryout.”

I get home and I log online, I research it looking for reviews. This is the new formula which is without the now FDA banned ephedra, so according to most reviews I read what MuscleTech (Hydroxycut’s maker) did was to bump the caffeine up through the roof.

If I take the recommended 2 pill servings, I’d be ingesting 600mg of caffeine. SIX HUNDRED milligrams. A red bull has 80mg in a 8oz can. Sweet Jesus. One Red Bull at 4pm lights me up until 2 in the morning. 12oz of Mountain Dew has 55mg of caffeine. (I’m getting the numbers from here

Past the caffeine, there are no resounding positive reviews, sure some people say it helped but nothing definite. So I decide to return it.

I finish my stuff around the house, making my food for the day and getting ready for work. I grab the Hydroxycut and receipt and head out the door. I swing by GNC on my way to work and talk to the same guy, explaining that I’m pretty damn sensitive to caffeine and that I don’t think I should take it.

He tells me to ignore the recommended doses and just to try it out. Even if I have opened the bottle, if I keep the receipt I can bring it back in for a refund. I, at this point, am very dubious and aware I’m being resold on it, and yet I relent and head out to my car.

It’s at this point I begin to reason with myself. On the one hand, I’m not looking for Hydroxycut to be a magic bullet, I’m working out and eating better, I’m just trying to get a boost on the weight loss to get me off this damn plateau. The proverbial angel and devil perch themselves on my shoulder and each plead their case.

My gut (haha) tells me I don’t want to take it. Something inherently feels wrong about it. I’ve always been a guy to avoid medicine, I hate taking pain killers and such. And so to consider taking this unnatural thing is bothering me. But also I’m trying to lose weight and it can help me.

I’m on a very slippery slope and very aware of it. I don’t like slippery slopes. So I think I’m pretty well set that I’ll be taking it back, but it’s just so tempting to get that extra oomph in my workout, to get that extra leg up on my weight loss.

The devil is perched next to me, promising me kingdoms of gold.