Dear Skateboarder whom I nearly hit with my car last night,
I realize that it was late, you were skating across the straight segment of road between two turns so your view hid any oncoming traffic, however I must caution you as I was going, at the time, below the speed limit and yet I came around the bend to nearly slam into your fragile form. Instead I chose to slam on my breaks, in doing so I also pressed the horn and held it.
I must admit I admired your ability to trip off your skateboard, remain on your feet, stop the board with one foot, and never spill a drop of your mocha-latte-frappachino. However, when you gestured dramatically for me to drive past you as you stood in the road, and I continued holding my horn, it struck me that you thought I was honking to make you aware of my presence.
This is not the case.
I am fairly certain you noticed and were thus aware my Honda Element as I sat mere feet from your body. The horn was because we were in a stretch of road where people would be coming around curves and possibly not paying attention such that you, or more importantly me, might be hit still. So my judicious use of the horn was intended to alert other drivers who might turn the corner while we stood there.
I must say though, I did not appreciate your mimicry of those with mental handicaps as you skated in front of me. As you were clearly a genius, I felt it in poor taste to both make such an action, and direct it towards me. I understand you were trying to save face with your friends who had smartly stopped at road’s edge and were thus watching your moronic actions unfold, but it still might not have been the best choice.
As you skated on and nearly were hit by oncoming cars in the next two lanes of traffic I pressed the gas and drove away, hoping you made it safely across the road. Since I heard no tires skid and no horns honked, I have to assume you did.
But fuck man did you piss me off.
– Patrick
Comments