Patrick Jarrett

Earn Your Body

I’m not going to lie. And it’s all stuff I’ve said before, but I’m overweight. I’m fat. This post is going to be a string of consciousness post laden with pop culture references and quotes. Buckle up.

Go home, take a paper bag, cut some eyeholes out of it. Put it over your head, get undressed and look at yourself in the mirror. Really evaluate where your strengths and weaknesses are. And be honest. – Joan on Mad Men

The sentiment here is clear, you have to be objective. If you look at yourself, you see you, but when we look at others – people we don’t know, we judge them. We judge them based on how they look. The bag on our head, even the metaphorical bag, enhances your ability to disassociate yourself with your body and look at your flaws, and your strengths.

The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body. You understand that the second you look in the mirror and you’re happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle. – Perry Cox on Scrubs

Change only happens when we have become so dissatisfied with the current state of things that we must change. I left the comedy club due to a single staff member who made my working there unbearable. And thanks to him I doubled my salary, then doubled it again the next year. All because I worked with a class-A raging asshole. Now, I must find that equivalent in my body and use it as leverage to cause change.

Here is the thing though, you cannot take a leap of faith without knowing where you’re aiming to land. Otherwise you end up being one of the characters in Super Smash Brothers where you fall to your death, fall forever and never reach your goal.

A goal is akin to a dream. Separated by a thin veil. Dreams require we admit to what they are, and risk to ourselves that we may not realize this dream. Like asking a woman out on a date, chasing a dream exposes ourselves to danger.

I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
- W. B. Yeats

I first heard this in the movie Equilibrium, and then I looked up the poem. Powerful stuff. It finds another risk in admitting our dreams, that others will crush them. Children dream of Santa, and it falls to parents to one day tread on that dream to educate them about the world. If my dream is to have six pack abs and a body of a god, then there are hundreds of people who will tell me it’s impossible, I’d never get there. And here is where my resolve, determination and bullheadedness come in. To them I say: Fuck off. It’s my damn dream so get off my cloud! This post is what happens when I stay up late watching Fight Club and coding PHP.

Earn your body.

I do not know where I heard this quote, I apologize to whoever said it and came up with this great truth. In so many ways I’ve spent my life taking the “free demo” of my body. Even during high school sports I struggled to push myself and earn it. For a short while after college I was earning my body. Daily workouts. Eating well. And I was earning it, seeing the pounds slip off. Then I didn’t fall of the wagon, the wagon exploded around me and my body slid backwards to the worst shape of my life. Here is a simple truth: Your body wants to be fat. Fat = sustenance and in famine it means you can live longer. But unfortunately for your body, your goal is not to survive famine, it is to survive time. And science shows that time is conquered by not accumulating that fat. And so it’s time I begin earning my body again.

This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time. – Narrator, Fight Club

The time is now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. I need to start earning my body. Tonight. Aside from the desire to look appealing, it has become more and more apparent that my future requires I make these changes. Both of my parents have fought disease, my dad is a cancer survivor and my mom died from her disease (forgive me for not going into more detail, I don’t need to delve deeper than I already am.) My family has history of heart disease, diabetes, alcoholism, and more. A clear sign that I should get moving and stop wasting time. So what stops me? Fear.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Fuck fear. Simply. I’m able to do this if I become dedicated and stop cheating.

I’m going to earn my body.

My Kryptonite

It’s not a secret, and yet when it comes up I am met with any variety between shock and amusement. It’s true: I don’t watch scary movies. Almost ever. I walked out on the Scream movies. I avoid haunted houses. And generally I find no desire to see what I’m missing.

photo credit: DanielaNob

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My Best Idea

I’ve been reading Twyla Tharp’s book, ‘The Creative Habit.’ I bought it a few months ago in the Kindle format so that I could test reading books on my iPod Touch. I have come to some conclusions, especially about reading on the iPod Touch, but those are for another blog post. Twyla Tharp is an American Dancer and Choreographer who has won both Emmy’s and Tony’s for her work. Her book explores the creative process.

Twyla’s book is very interesting and thought provoking. I began reading it and was really getting into it when she posed a series of questions to the reader. The first of which I didn’t have an answer to. She asked “What is your best idea ever?”
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A Hospital is a Shocking Thing

photo credit: Fernando Cuenca Romero

It shocks you into realizing that something isn’t right. Often this results in fear, uncertainty, anxiousness, and eventually exhaustion. That all hit me yesterday when I took my dad to the Emergency Room. I had been at work for two hours when he called and said, “Son, I need you. I need to go to the hospital.” He had blacked out three separate times at home, resulting in a very large bump on his head, what we learned was a bruised rib, and a handful of scratches and bruises to show for it.

The problem is not the handful of injuries, but that dad blacked out three times. It turned out that his blood pressure is dropping quite dangerously whenever he stands up. So they admitted him to the hospital to see what is going on.
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My Lottery Plan

1. Win the lotto.
2. Tell K the good news.
3. Call our richest acquaintance in Orlando, get the name of their lawyer.
4. Get the name of the lawyer’s accountant or financial adviser.
5. Set a meeting with both to setup the protections and financial plans for investing.
6. Set up trust for inheritance money.
7. Pull aside a small percentage for use.
8. Pay off all debt.
9. Begin plan to spread money among closest family, such as parents, siblings (and kids if we have any at the time.)
10. Give generously to charities and organizations we support.
11. With what remains of spending money, depending on amount, buy house, plan trips, etc.
12. Once I’m fully setup and ready, it’s time to pursue world domination.

I would most likely quit my day job and begin plans to really roll out my own business. I’ve got a plan for a shopping center with a variety of stores and businesses I think I could run better than other people. Things like game shops, sushi restaurants, after school centers, and a handful of others.

K and I could also go nomadic and uproot and begin traveling the world, that’s also a likely outcome, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Oh and I plan to give $10,000 to the first 5 individuals (who I know, sorry random visitors) to comment on this post. You know, if K and I ever win the lotto

Learning the Harmonica

Yesterday I tweeted out how I have decided that I want to learn the Harmonica. I tweeted this and asked for feedback on where or how to learn. Some friends replied with people to talk to, others sent me links, others sent me book suggestions and to all of you I say thank you for your help.

As I read over the web of Harmonica sites, the common thing I saw was people saying ‘Just play it.’ The harmonica is a gloriously simple instrument, usually 10 holes to blow through, keyed to C. So you just play, learn, refine and play more. It’s not going to serve me very well to just read about how to play the Harmonica.

Something the Internet breeds a lot of are ‘keyboard jockeys.’ People who write, post, and blog about a topic but who forgo the actual experience instead choosing to work in the realm of theory based on readings and other material they’ve seen. Rather than doing it, they talk about it. Usually a lot.

What does that say? This is something they’re interested in. And that theory is safer. So long as it is just theory, there’s almost no chance of failure unless your theory is patently wrong.

The term ‘keyboard jockey’ does not refer to people who do have real life experience and who are skilled in the area, it refers to the anonymous masses who gain a following for their writing or discussions.

Can people learn purely in this way? Sure. Magic the Gathering has a huge online keyboard jockey audience. People get paid to discuss decks, game theory, players, the game itself, card individually, all sorts of stuff. Can a player learn the game and get better by reading these articles? Sure. But the rate of growth is miniscule as compared to actual true 100% competitive and varied game play. What you can learn playing in one tough tournament amounts to more knowledge and skill than you’ll gain in weeks of reading online.

Could I learn the Harmonica just by watching instructional videos and reading about it? Possibly. But nothing can train me for the feel of the Harmonica, how to hold my mouth and cup my hands. Learning is a lot of successive failures before I can even play ‘Mary had a little lamb.’

But when I do play it, you can be sure I’ll tweet about it.

A New Life Quote

One of the many things K has done for me, is introduce me to Rev. Run. Not face to face, but before that I only knew of Run DMC, I didn’t know who they were. Rev. Run is a good guy. He’s a father, an entertainer, a preacher, and a pretty stand up guy. He has been sending out a daily email with motivational and supporting messages for years now and just recently joined the Twitter revolution.

Remember this.. Youre not obligated to win… but youre damn sure obligated to keep trying EVERYDAY – Rev. Run

I love this quote. It’s something I’ve struggled with. I hate losing. Or even I hate not winning. This quote reminds me that we all lose sometimes and it matters more that we keep getting back up after we get thrown down. Good stuff.

Tips to Travelers

Three tips for traveling from day 1 of my vacation.

1) Don’t settle. The staff at the hotel tried to put us in a room with two-doubles as opposed to a king. We had made a reservation for a king. I immediately called down to the front desk and they sent up a bellman with new room keys. I suspect the majority of the time it happens they are doing it because people won’t speak up or say anything.

2) Be gracious and polite to everyone. When we got on the plane after our two hour delay (though it felt much longer) K and I were still up beat and positive. We sat down in the row and it wasn’t the exit row as expected. Apparently they had changed planes on us, but the steward had a sharp eye and invited us to sit on the real exit row. The plane had plenty of empty seats so there weren’t any issues with doing so. But we were polite and upbeat. If we had come in snarling and griping about the delay, he would have been less likely to offer us the better seats.

3) Get a Flip camera. I got one when it rolled up on Woot a few weeks back and it’s amazingly fun to be able to whip it out and shoot video with ease. Then to take it back to the hotel room and plug into the laptop to immediately upload.

Pursuing Happiness

It’s not hard to be happy when life is good. The real task is to be happy when life isn’t good. Like this economy. Stress, frustration, the feelings of helplessness combine to make a formidable opponent to happiness. I’m a happy guy, and so far I’m doing okay in this economy, but I’m lucky. And I know it.

What weapons do we all have to find happiness? More »

Expect More

“Hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself.“

This is among the few quotes which I try to adhere to in my life. I expect myself to perform better, act better, be better. Better than I always am.This is a continual drive to improve. More »

Breaking the Rules

When I was a Boy Scout, during one of the meetings we held a competition between the different Patrols to see who could work well together and come up with the best paper airplane.

Now, I was part of the senior Patrol, made up of the elder scouts, so we tended to more experienced and perhaps a tad cynical. Maybe.

We quickly realized that we were provided a few sheets of paper, but more importantly we were allowed to use any change we had (supposedly to add balance and weight to the airplane.) We circled up to block the view of any of the leaders or other scouts, and quickly came up with our design.

We pooled our change on one of the unfolded sheets, and then balled it up around the change, creating a nice, heavy, paper ball.

We kept it hidden behind our backs and shoo’ed any curious people away, letting all the other patrols make their flights first. We then went and one of our baseball players stepped up with our crumpled ball of paper, he threw it all the way across the room, hitting it against the opposite wall where it exploded in a shower of coins.

No one else’s plane had even made it half the distance of the room. Unfortunately we were disqualified for the ’spirit of the competition.’

Which is too bad, I think the catapulted flight pod could be a viable flight option…

The point is that we followed the rules, destroyed the competition, but were given nothing for our work. If you make it a competition, give it strict rules, but realize you’re going to be outsmarted.

3 Reasons Circuit City is failing

1. The stores are in shambles. Everything is in disarray and groups of employees at my nearby store stand in circles talking rather than working the floor or trying to get some sort of order.
2. The cashier asked me if I found everything alright, and when I told her ‘No, your movie display is like a warzone.’ She replied with ‘Oh I know, it gets that way after a sale.’ I can’t even begin to explain how that’s the wrong answer.
3. The prices suck. They’re not even attempting to undercut the competition and work on quantity rather than quality. Every piece of electronics is overpriced as compared to what I can find online or in other stores.

I should have just called this post ‘3 Reasons Circuit City sucks balls‘ but I felt the current title was more to the point.

State Farm

Last week I got a renewal document from GEICO for my car’s insurance despite it not expiring for another few months. This set me off to research alternatives as I’m fairly sure I can save money in that arena next time around. Progressive has an office near work so I was looking into them, I did a Consumer Reports lookup on car insurance companies to see who has the best record as well as surfing Consumerist looking for red flags. Since I still have a few months I didn’t do anything other than get a quote or two.

Just yesterday I get a plain envelope in the mail, open it to find a well written and somewhat personal feeling letter from a local State Farm agent. I get to the bottom and it’s got a printed signature using an obvious computer font.

I turned to K and said, “If only he had signed the letter.”

I am sure it was one letter in a mailer going out to thousands of car owners in Florida, but the effect a personal signature in blue ink would have had on the letter would have swayed me and made me much more eager to possibly switch to State Farm.

I guess the letter is better than the form letters I get from GEICO all the time trying to get my business (despite already being a GEICO customer) but I just wish he had gone that extra step and had a real signature.

Four Questions I’d ask Sir Richard Branson

There are a number of wealthy individuals that I find fascinating and have a deep desire to meet, just to learn from them. At the top of this list is Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin empire. Here are four questions I’d ask him were I given the chance:

1. What do you regard as your greatest business choice and why? – I’d ask because I think he’s had such a fascinating journey in business and he’s made so many choices, I suspect his values don’t run along what money he made, and rather what his choice accomplished for his business.
2. What is your average day like? – Is there anything more interesting than the life of the super wealthy? He’s the head of a massive conglomerate and as such he has to have some interesting insights into how to get the most out of his day. I imagine it involves getting the news condensed by a personal assistant, talking into the phone on the drive into work, etc.
3. What do you consider to be the penultimate skill for making sales? – That’s really what the business comes down to. Making the sale. And so is it the gift of gab, the ability to relate with others, or something else?
4. When did you realize you were a billionaire or going to be a billionaire? – Was it a specific business deal or did the day to day business drive your wealth up to where you officially became a billionaire? To me, someone quite a distance from this amount of wealth, it seems like news you’d remember for the rest of your life and you’d remember where you were when you first heard it.

A Few Things I’ve Learned

Losing your job affects you. It makes you question your comfort, your skills, it makes you ask is this type of job right for you, whose fault was it, what can you do better next time?

I’m a confident guy, I’m not perfect but I am the perfect example of someone who believes they’re Superman and cannot be harmed.

But when Databanq let me go, I was rocked and it took me several weeks to figure it all out and then soon after starting the job hunt again MindComet found me and it’s now been over three months. Here are a few things I’ve learned from MindComet and about myself.

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